---------------------------------------------------------------------- FRIENDSHIP __________ "Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow." (Ecc. 4:9+10) (See note 1) Although we have many brothers and sisters in the body of Christ, only a few of us have close personal friends. Here is a list of ten biblical characteristics of friendships. Strengthen and examine your friendship in the light of the Word of God. Don't try to do anything forcefully, but simply put it under His loving instruction. 1. THERE ARE ONLY A FEW CLOSE FRIENDS Prov. 18:24 "He that maketh many friends doeth it to his own destruction: but there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother." We live in a covenant with all believers in the body of Christ, but with some we are particularly tied together through the Holy Spirit. Look at Jesus' example: He has His twelve, His three - Peter, James and John - and His one: John. This is not exclusion but is the only way to practise friendship properly. 2. A FRIEND GIVES HIS LIFE John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Don't take this too spiritually. "To lay down one's life" also means the readiness to put oneself back to serve the other person, instead of putting the other one back to serve one's self. It is the readiness to take the needs of the friend more seriously than your own. Think of John the Baptist: "But the friend of the bridegroom, which standeth and heareth him, rejoiceth greatly because of the bridegroom's voice...He must increase, but I must decrease." (John 3:29+30) 3. A FRIEND KNOWS YOU DEEPLY John 15:15 "But I have called you friends; for all things that I heard from my Father I have made known unto you." A friend is someone in front of whom you can be totally sure, take off your mask, and slowly get closer to them - be your own self. That takes time and is also risky, but this is exactly what the Apostle says in James 5:16 "Confess therefore your sins one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed." 4. A FRIEND LOVES WITHOUT CONDITIONS Prov. 17:17 "A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." 5. A FRIEND GIVES YOU GOOD ADVICE Prov. 27:9 "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend that cometh of hearty counsel." Another characteristic of a friend, is to hear the voice of God with you: "I haven't got a clear guideline for you in this matter, so therefore let's fast and pray together about this." 6. A FRIEND SPEAKS THE TRUTH IN LOVE Prov. 27:6 "Faithful are the wounds of a friend..." The Bible tells us to "walk in the light" to have real fellowship with each other (1 John 1:7). We all need somebody with enough love for us to tell us the truth about ourselves. Not only what we want to hear, but what we should hear as well. 7. A FRIEND ENCOURAGES YOU Job 6:14 "To him that is ready to faint kindness should be shewed from his friend; even to him that forsaketh the fear of the Almighty." Job needed more than what his own wife gave him: "Renounce God, and die." Nice sympathy, isn't it? We all need encouragement, confirmation and support in our Christian lives. 8. A FRIEND ALSO DOESN'T FEAR A CLASH WITH YOU Prov. 27:17 "Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend." Clashes can't be avoided in such close relationships. The durability of a friendship will be tested; it will be seen if it is really welded together with the love of Christ. We then have the choice of either drawing back from being offended, or of rebuking that friend, or of solving the conflict in love. 9. A FRIEND IS DELICATE Prov. 26:18+19 "As a madman who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death; so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, Am not I in sport?" To put it simply, a friend is aware of your sensitive areas. They refrain from sarcasm, mean jokes and exposures. 10. A FRIEND IS LOYAL Prov. 16:28b "A whisperer separateth chief friends." Prov. 17:9b "He that harpeth on a matter separateth chief friends." In the hour of betrayal, with rumours and accusations, it will be obvious who really stands by us. Would you like to have friends who show these characteristics? Then ask the Holy Spirit to write them into your own heart, and start to practise them. And when you try this, remember the friend who sticks closer to you than anybody else. "All things therefore whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, even so do ye also unto them: for this is the law and the prophets." (Mat. 7:12)